[Jacob is just going to attach an image from his PORTAL for you all to see.]


( Read more... )

Well, it appears the devil himself has bid us adieu.

His departure compels me to break this trend of isolation and exit the existential womb I've been maintaining.

Who likes house parties or surly games of poker?

[See Jacob.

See Jacob finishing shaving in nothing but a pair of old swimming trucks.

Then watch him clean off the razor and go for a plastic trash bag in his crutches and try to finagle his leg into it. He's recently put the injured half of his leg in a splint to help the process and doesn't want to ruin it ( Read more... )

[Jacob has been up and working consecutively for 168 hours. He dabbled in string theory and his already abundant knowledge of astrophysics to scientifically reason Promenade and define it on an intellectual basis. He came close too, only a handful of odd ends unaccounted for mathematically. The coffee wore off though, and his entire basement ( Read more... )

We don't celebrate Mother's Day in my family.

We find it to be unnecessarily uplifting.

[When the video blinks on you get a panoramic view of Jacob's basement, the computer equipment, and the radio show machinery. There's an unmade bed in the corner and a half eaten bag of jalapeño and cheddar cheetos ( Read more... )

PROPER PORTAL MANANGEMNT
By Jacob Glaser. Again.

Obviously you all need another comprehensive guide to keep yourselves on the level. This one is quite simple.

01. If you are fornicating make sure your PORTAL is not in the vicinity.
02. If you're changing make sure your PORTAL is not in the vicinity.
03. Don't take it with you into the tub. That's ( Read more... )

I threw this together.

No need to thank me or anything.

Show your wife, show your kids.

( PROMENADE, as told by a Glaser. )

What were you all doing before you woke up here in Promenade?

Honest answers win points toward a fabulous prize.

It's for a theoretical study of mine.

[The line is relatively quiet, Jacob is in basement going through papers that reflected his studies on Stonehenge. When he realizes the PORTAL is recording he pulls it closer and props it up where his computer is setting it where he can move and read over things and still speak to the public.]

Goooooooooooood morning, Promenade. It's about... [ ( Read more... )